Everyone needs a Sally

We are so lucky to have the support of our very dear friend Sally, and I wish I could wave a wand so that every Parkinson’s household could be blessed with their own version of the Good Fairy.

I'm guessing you might need a bit of help in the garden...?

In recent months Sally has become a bit of a rock in our life. Just over a year ago, after a busy while of not seeing much of each other, she dropped me a line that said ‘I’m guessing you might need a bit of help in the garden, can I come?’ When she came that day, she quickly realised that we were barely coping and so her mission to sort the Nicol Pickle began.

Sally is pretty special. She has made a huge difference to our life and wellbeing over the last year or so. A longstanding friend who we met through our sea kayaking adventures, she has always brought light and laughter into our encounters and she is the sort of person you would always want on your side. Totally unassuming, outwardly quiet and easy for others to underestimate, they do so at their peril. Sally is immensely practical and full of competencies that would make the rest of us keel over and feel completely feeble. She’s a hugely experienced skipper and has completed the Fastnet more than once (look it up, it’ll make you shudder) and she has every outdoor leadership and coaching qualification imaginable. When she’s leading a sea kayaking trip, her calm, wise, measured decisions mean that even when the sea turns unexpectedly into a washing machine, you know you are in safe hands. She knows everyone and knows how to get hold of stuff and get stuff done - altogether a talented ‘fixer.’ And she has a lovely sense of playfulness, too, so it’s not all work and no play when Sally is aboard.

When Sally turns up in her yachting dungarees, I know she means business

And when Sally turns up in her yachting dungarees I know she means business! She says she bullies us - she doesn’t, she scoops us up and sorts us out and makes things happen and keeps us on an even keel - very appropriate for a sea kayaking skipper. Sally always likes a list, and every week we make a plan.

Sally always likes a list, and every week we make a plan.

She swung into action on day to help me clean the caravan when we had barely 24 hours’ notice that the new owner was coming to collect her; she has tackled bamboo pruning, fence painting, wall painting, trench digging, odd-job-fixing, log splitting and a whole host of things that it is no longer possible to do when you are having to give house room to Mr P. Euan has always been such a practical chap, famous for his carpentry and creative engineering projects, and I have always loved gardening and home making, but once Mr P tucked his legs under our table these things became increasingly difficult. Mr P demands attention and we have to go his way.

There's a gap in the market for a DIY service for the vulnerable and elderly

I think there is a gap in the market since councils scaled back their DIY service for the vulnerable and elderly. Why has no one taken up the idea of a regular booking in the way you might have a home help or a cleaner every week? We could keep an odd job company busy for half a day every few weeks, and I am sure there are many other households in our boat who could do the same. We have Sally - without her, these things just wouldn’t get done.

Sally has a great sense of fun. She turned up one weekend with fresh sardines and a disposable barbecue to encourage us to get out and enjoy outdoor cooking and eating again - we lit the chiminea that night too, the first time since leaving Braemount 4 years previously. Sometimes a bit of playtime or listening time is all the help we need, although all the odd job fixing is an absolute Godsend.

Sometimes a bit of playtime or listening time is all the help we need

Another weekend Sally organised for us to go to a friend’s orchard and we had a wonderful morning picking apples with Sally doing a bit of tree climbing to help things along. Ian and Cate were wonderful hosts: having thought through Euan’s needs beforehand, they were ready with their all terrain buggy and Ian delivered Euan to the orchard and drove him back again with plenty of stops to enjoy the view along the way. We will definitely be heading back to The Orchard House next year, and we wish Ian and Cate every success with this amazing venture.

We we got home, Sally whisked out her amazing French apple peeling machine and created an apple processing production line in our car port so I wouldn’t have to find the time to deal with all the apples we had garnered. So thoughtful, so practical, such fun.

Probably one of the funniest things Sally has said is that coming to us is her therapy!! It’s maybe that thing about giving, it releases great chemicals in the brain, so Sally gets something back from coming here, a sense of wellbeing and knowing that she has done a good job. It’s a strange sort of therapy, but it seems to work for her.

You are never too young to set up your Powers of Attorney

You might not be surprised to learn that Sally is also one of our Welfare Attorneys - and in that sense, everybody really should have a Sally. You are never too young (after 16) to set up your Powers of Attorney and for anyone who has children, a house, any responsibilities, it is sheer madness not to have put your Continuing and Welfare Powers of Attorney in place. You could be run over by a bus at any time. Or Mr P might just decide he’d like to move in. Put it on your ‘To Do’ list now to speak to your solicitor - and tick it off as done tomorrow.

Who is your Sally, or how can you find someone to help?

I wonder if you have a ‘Sally’ in your life? You might not see them as often, or they might be someone who supports you over Zoom or down a telephone line, but I do hope you have someone you can turn to. And maybe the befriending services run by Age Scotland and other voluntary organisations could help fill some of the gaps that Sally fills so beautifully for us. Check out the support page on the You, Me & Mr P website for some useful links and ideas. And all this has left me wondering - who is Sally’s ‘Sally’???