Planning ahead

We share an online diary that we can both access and edit. Everything is colour-coded so at a glance it's easy to see the entries for Euan's activities and appointments, the things I need to do or am looking forward to and the joint items that apply to both of us. It is really important to have things to look forward to in the diary - coffee with friends, a phonemail or Zoom, a walk - things that will top you up and keep you going. Make sure the things you value spending time doing get booked in!​

We have a big whiteboard in the kitchen that shows 'Today', 'Tomorrow' and then the whole week at a glance in a grid with two columns, one for Euan and one for me. I update it every day, and most mornings we have a pow-wow to see what's happening and if nothing is happening we discuss whether we want to fit in a walk or ask friends if they are free for a coffee - or just have a quiet day at home. And Euan says it's an important chance to reflect on all you've achieved, too. 

Euan was diagnosed at 52 and we were lucky enough to get 8 good years before Euan had to retire due to his PD. But we didn't wait till that moment to decide what to do next. We had been drawing up a checklist of requirements, things that would make living easier as we aged, and that guided us through the process of downsizing, moving and settling in to our new 'later life' community. 

As well as finding a suitable house for Euan's decreasing mobility, and a garden that would be easy to manage, we wanted a vibrant community that we could throw ourselves into with a will and as many as facilities as possible to be within walking distance. Here is our list:  

• Flat terrain

• Vibrant community

• Shops

• Chemist

• GP surgery

• NHS dentist

• Post Office

• Travel hub

• Hospital within reach

• PD nurse & team

• Beach

• Pub

• Cafe

• Library

• Leisure centre

• Accessible by friends

You are never too young to set these up, so if you haven't already done so, think who you would like to act on your behalf - the folk in your tribe who you really trust and respect, and who know you and understand you really well. Have a heart-to-heart chat with them  and then get going with your solicitor to draw up the paperwork as soon as possible.

Thanks to a helpful prompt from loving friend Gillie,  I have created a care plan for Euan so that a stranger could step in and have a good go at helping him through the day and the night  - you can see the template here. I have also written up Euan's daily medication routine and list of meds and these are all together in a display file on the sideboard. I have created a list of favourite meals and I try always to keep a few frozen ready meals and soups readily visible in case Euan has to fend for himself for a little while. Finally, I have a big index book with all the vital phone numbers, which is with the file. See Useful Links page for organisations who can help in an emergency.

There is an ICE (In Case of Emergency) card that lets people know you are a carer - you can put contact details on the back for people who could step in if you are incapacitated: https://www.carersuk.org/scotland/help-and-advice/caring-and-emergencies

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Make sure you are on the Priority Services Register, via your home energy provider, so that if there is a power cut or other disruption to supply you will be made a priority. Find out more here: https://www.ofgem.gov.uk/consumers/household-gas-and-electricity-guide/extra-help-energy-services/priority-services-register