The importance of ‘twosies’
- Katie Nicol
- Feb 8, 2021
- 4 min read
When asked for a photo of the two of us last year, I was shocked to realise how few I had. Lots of Euan, yes, lots of the places we’ve been, lots of the friends and family we were with, but very few of the two of us together, in situ, recording a time and place, a memory shared. And so my 'twosie' quest began.
A 'twosie' is my term for a selfie that includes both of us. I have belatedly come to realise that they provide a vital record of our life together - and find there's much to be done to improve my catalogue!! So, I am now on a mission, both with the photos I take myself and the ones I am asking friends to snap, to make sure we capture lots of shared moments and expressions, places and activities, to keep the memory jar topped up.
How many recent photos do you have of you and your loved ones together?
In the days before digital, the selfie didn't exist and we all relied on photos taken by others. A personal favourite is this treasured image of Mum and Dad having fun on their fortieth wedding anniversary in the Lake District. So much of their personality and sense of fun comes through, in the heady, happy days before illness then took so much away.
It's so important to have these links to the wider story of someone's life, to help value the whole of their life not just the shell or shadow that they might become. I made Mum an album for her 70th birthday that showcased each decade, and, ten years later, when she went into a care home, it became an important talking point, providing a wonderful window onto her world, helping her to reminisce and giving her carers an understanding of what a talented, sporty, creative and fun-loving woman she was, before Mr P clasped her in his wicked grip.
...'twosies' capture our friendship, our sense of fun, our identity as a couple
Going out to play together is an essential aspect of nurturing our marriage, our friendship, our sense of fun, our identity as a couple. It recharges our batteries and gives us something to chuckle about. So I am now endeavouring to record all our outings with a series of twosies; we are a team, and these photos capture that, cement it and store it away for the future. But it's definitely a case of 'could do better!'
A masterclass in the art of the selfie
Friends and family have really got this selfie thing taped, and there is much that I can learn from studying their art. Hamish is great at sending pics from their family activities in Australia, keeping us connected with how our gorgeous great nieces are growing and changing. Anne and Paul are wonderful photographic opportunists, regularly snapping happy moments out and about, noticing that they are happening and enjoying capturing them in case they get forgotten in all the busy that is their life. And Jon is the the selfie-man par excellence - stargazer shots, heads-in-a-huddle shots, capturing-the-setting shots and everyone-in-action shots, giving us so much more than a simple set of portraits.
Our best efforts - the 'twosie' catalogue so far...
This gallery of twosies shows a few of our own experimentations, but I need to do much more to get a sense of place and context - and perhaps I need even longer arms!! I can capture our sense of fun, and a few seasonal clues add to the contextual info, but I do need to get much better at including more of the location and our activities. But it's a start, and we will enjoy making our library grow.
Captured by others
We're not great at asking folk to take pics of the two of us at events or outings or in everyday settings, but that, too, is now on the agenda, and friends and family are doing a great job of snapping the two of us and sending us copies for our collection. Thank you all, and please keep them coming! Our world is slowly changing, Euan is gradually being challenged and changed by Mr D - all these photos will become even more precious in the years ahead.
And finally...
Our next challenge is to do many more 'voicies' - quick, impromptu recordings with the iPhone of random conversations and reflections to build a voice library. One of Euan's biggest regrets is that he has no record of either of his parents speaking. Because of that we used to make informal recordings of my parents over the meal table when they came to stay, and we often keep recordings of messages left by loved ones on our answerphone, just in case!
'Voicies' - quick, impromptu recordings of random conversations and reflections, precious treasure stored for future comfort
The first Sunday of the month is our lovely check-in time with Ian and Jean in Australia, and it presents the perfect voicie opportunity - a chance to capture family stories and reminiscences and find answers to questions long-pondered regarding the family home or holidays or renegade relatives or teenage misadventures. All I have to do is remember to press the big red button on my phone, and then give the file a sensible name and location when we're done so I can find it again!
So there we are. Twosies and voicies. Great fun to do just now, but vitally important for storing up precious treasure against an unknown future when we might be in need of comfort or want the world to know the wider story of who we are or the road we have travelled.
And I am wondering, how do you keep a record of memories and important moments? I'd love to know.
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